Masochistic Wife, Husband of Slutshaming

A while back I read a Harlequin from 1978 called The Dark Side of Marriage. It was about a woman whose husband falsely believes she cheated on him, and how they’re forced into proximity, and realize they still love each other.

It was, and I cannot overstate this, a horrible horrible wrenching read. It was well-written, but that particular plotline–and the HEAPS of angry, abusive treatment the husband doled out–was incredibly difficult for me to get through.

Well. At the time I didn’t realize that this is an actual thing. I mean, that wasn’t a one-off, or a relic of the not-all-that-distant-past. “Husband thinks his wife cheated and is mean to her, then discovers he was wrong and grovels” is, like, a subgenre unto itself.

And I just finished another one. FROM 2008.

Title: Innocent Wife, Baby of Shame
Author: Melanie Milburne
Harlequin Presents
Published: April 2008
Reasons I might actually remember this one: Aside from the appalling lead man? Well. The writing was actually very good, with that zany soap-operish over-the-top feeling that I’ve grown to love in category romances.

There’s no good reason for me to waste time recapping the plot, is there? After that title you know everything you could possibly want to, except for the reason she’s innocent of adultery even though her husband found her naked in her best (male) friend’s bed and the friend told him they’d Totally Done It, Dude, I Rocked Her World. The reason is a spoiler so deliciously insane I laughed until I had stomach cramps, so I’m whiting it out; highlight to read if you don’t care about spoilers: the best friend is gay and knew his father wouldn’t fund his move to Canada/new furniture design business if he found out about the gayness and the pending gay marriage and gay gay gay gay, apparently gay men are compulsive liars who accidentally roofie you with pain medication, lie to your fiance because he hurt your feelings, lie to their fathers to get money, and then let the press slander your reputation for two months and your marriage fall apart without ever coming clean. WHO KNEW?
Yeah, so that happened. This all comes out at the very end, right after the obligatory almost-miscarriage that caused the hero to realize he wanted this baby after all, and oh yeah he was sorry for those things he said.

Which almost brings me to Those Things He Said, but first, a public service announcement: if you are pregnant, and having painful cramps in your lower belly, GO TO THE HOSPITAL.Don’t ignore the pain, lie to others that you feel fine, and then faint dead away in a sea of blood leaving the people around you to take you there, okay? JUST GO.

But the really, really memorable thing about this book–and the reason I almost couldn’t finish it, in spite of the good writing and entertaining over-the-topness–can best be summed up as a list.

To best appreciate the list, bear in mind that he thinks she slept with another man, once, on the night after they had a huge fight because she thought he’d been having an affair; the other woman had left messages to him on the phone, and photoshopped some evidence, in an effort to make it look like he’d been cheating. Got that? So he thinks she had one-time revenge/comfort sex, even though he knows she has no memory of the night in question because she passed out at said friend’s apartment before the “sex” (which, if it had happened, would have been rape, seeing as how she WASN’T CONSCIOUS). Since they separated he’s kept a mistress. Now he’s blackmailed his wife into pretending to have reconciled.

Those Things He Said (and Thought):

“Do I not have the right to hate you, Keira?” he asked. “You destroyed our marriage by sleeping with another man.” (p. 26)

“Where you opened your legs for him like the filthy little slut you are,” he ground out savagely…(p. 26)

His mouth tilted in a mocking smile. “You have already given me your consent,” he said. “We are still legally married, remember?” (p. 30)

“That should give you something to remember me by,”  he said in a flinty tone as he re-zipped his trousers. (p. 33)

“What is your preference these days?” he asked. “Right or left, or do you still lie right in the middle?” Sprawled like a whore, he added silently… (p. 45)

She had claimed to be a virgin when he’d first met her but now, with hindsight, he seriously doubted it. She had slept with him on that first night without hesitation. (p. 47)

He wasn’t handing over half his wealth to his sluttish ex-wife, who would no doubt share it with her lover. (p. 51) 

 “I would only have to roll you over and sink into you to prove how much of a wanton you really are.” (p. 53)

“But I am not going to do it,” Patrizio said, moving away from her. “I am not going to taint myself with soiled goods.” (p. 53)

“You led me to believe you were a virgin,” he said. “I realize now, of course, that it was all an act. You only told me that to reel me in to marry you.” (p. 76)

“You are a wanton witch,” he ground out. “You cannot live without a man in your bed. I see the hunger in your eyes. I saw it when you came to my office the other day. You are insatiable. One man was not enough for you. It is never going to be enough for you.”  (p. 77)

“You are nothing but a cheap little slut.  I will be glad when this farce is over….” (p. 83)

And so on and so forth. That’s less than half the book, but I feel nauseated all over again. The “hero” is a hateful, misogynistic arsehole, and in real life he’d be terrifying. In between saying all these things he is, of course, having sex with her, and repeatedly reminding her that in six weeks they can end the charade and he can go back to his mistress.

She cries, faints, and wakes up screaming from nightmares, and at those points he comforts her, calls her cara, and demands to know “what kind of man she thinks he is” when she flinches away from him. It’s sick. Maybe this is someone’s kink, but I felt like I was watching a documentary on spousal abuse.

I’m leaving out the abuse she takes from other quarters, most particularly her parents (who blame her entirely for the break up, apparently taking the tabloids’ word for it that she’s a harlot) but also nearly everyone else in the book: people at a party, a random cab driver, and her husband’s teenage nephew all call her or think of her as a slut. It could almost be read as a criticism of the way we treat women’s infidelity as compared to men’s, and at a couple of points the heroine thinks about that issue. But mostly she just feels guilty for something she doesn’t remember doing (and didn’t in fact do), cries and apologizes, secretly continues to be in love with her creepy ex, and gladly takes him back in the end.

Active Ingredients:
Bad/Shallow Woman Wants Hero
Desperately Poor Heroine
Horrible Parents Who Side with Hero
Plot Moppets (teenage variety)
Hounded/Lauded by the Press
Justice at Last
Kindly Servants
Threats of Marital Rape
Near Miscarriage Causes Hero to Realize he Loves Heroine/Wants a Baby
Hero Insults Heroine by Refusing to Believe she was Faithful
Improbable Happy Ending


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s